Monday, September 2, 2013


We are using less harsh chemicals in the house these days.  It started while I was pregnant and now it's just preference.  Well, with the exception of the occasional and necessary bleach bombing of the shower, which usually takes place immediately before vacating the house for a few hours.  We have lemon-y cleaners and organic cleaners, and Hubby recently filled an empty bottle with white vinegar and water for some every day cleaning.

Today, I was in the kitchen grabbing some pump parts when I spied an ant expedition leading to the sink.  I should mention that our dishwasher recently committed suicide, and unfortunately, took our hardwood floor with it.  On a daily basis, all of our dirty dishes gather around the site of the accident, leaving bits of food and table scraps around the counter-top in remembrance.  As you can tell, the loss has hit us all pretty hard.

Today, when faced with the decision of washing dishes by hand (oh, the horror!) or doing some work online, I choose work online.  An hour later, here I am, in the kitchen gathering up some pump parts, when I spy this parade of ants descending upon our mourning dishes.  I grab the cleaner and spray the disrespectful looters, only to realize that ants are wholly unaffected by vinegar water.  I bent down to get the lemon cleaner out from under the sink, and what I found upon my return was unbelievable.

It was as if one of the ants had shouted, "Hey, you guys!  Bob's having a party over here.  I don't know what kind of drinks he's serving, but they smell AWESOME.  Seriously, you guys, forget about that dried okra over there and come check this sh*t OUT!"  And then an entire colony of ants poured out of... somewhere... and filled the kitchen counter.  Like all good parties, things escalated quickly.  And listen, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I don't think ants even have law enforcement.  So, there was no one to call to get this scene under control but... LEMON CLEANER.

I'm not sorry to report: it was a massacre.

I'm not sorry because we just lost two very important members of our Kitchen Society, and this is no time for a damn party.

No comments:

Post a Comment