"Hello? 911? I'd like to report an assault."
"Yes, it's my 10 month old daughter. She's holding her foot like a weapon and using it to repetitively kick me in the face and chest. Don't even get me started on what she's doing to my nipples with those new top teeth."
"You're notifying the police? Well, if you think they can get through to her. I'm all out of ideas."
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Help.
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