Thursday, November 28, 2013

Memoirs from another Turkey Day

I was so excited to see my dad and have people over, I didn't really stop to prepare myself for yet another holiday without mom.  I was fine until after lunch, when all the men (everyone but Baby and I) gathered around the TV to watch football. Baby and I were sitting there on the floor playing, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was in a room full of people, but I felt incredibly alone. 

I thought of the conversations my mom, aunts, and I had on Thanksgivings past.  I thought of the first year we had a Michael's in my small hometown town, and it was also the first year folks starting opening up on Thanksgiving night.  We didn't really need or want anything--matter of fact, no one spent a penny.  The women just wanted to escape the boring football game; so we all packed up and wandered the store talking about current projects and projects to come.

I thought about the birthday invitations I need to address, and the birthday crafts I don't have time to do. My heart ached for my crafting partner in crime.  The Cowboys scored a touchdown. Everyone cheered.  Baby threw her hands in the air. I decided to refocus.

I started working on the invitations. Hubby reached over and helped.  I felt better to be focused on something. Grandpa started playing with Baby. She absolutely loves her grandpa. Matter of fact, for the first time ever she cried when someone other than mom or dad left the room. It was beautiful and sad at the same time. I didn't want to see him go either.

Now, the delicious meals my father and my amazing husband made dairy and soy free just for me are resting in the fridge. Baby is asleep in my arms.  I'm hoping for a little sleep tonight, but I'm bracing for none.

I hope the holidays were kind to you all. I know they can be hectic and stressful. People criticize and judge, they say the wrong thing, or they say nothing at all. But when night falls, when the guests have left and you can breathe deep.  When the house is still again, and regardless of whether the day went according to plan or made up its own: you survived.  Tomorrow is a new day, and everything important in your life will still be waiting for you in the morning.

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